NEW ENGLAND METAL AND HARDCORE FESTIVAL Lineup Is Announced. Grim Kim Is Not Amused.

According to a press release:

The New England Metal and Hardcore Festival will enter year 12 this April with an eclectic mixture of bands from the metal and hardcore genres. Returning to the Palladium in Worcester, Mass., the event will take place on Friday, April 23 and Saturday, April 24, with an extra special pre-party sponsored by Atticus on Thursday, April 22.

Bands performing on Friday April 23 include Mastodon, Between The Buried And Me, Baroness, Cro Mags, Earth Crisis, Death Threat, Death Before Dishonor, COA, American Me, Thick As Blood, Forfeit, XTheWarX, Grave Maker, Rose Funeral, Conducting From The Grave and Howl. Doors open at 3:00PM

Bands performing on Saturday April 24 include Cannibal Corpse, Amon Amarth, Job For A Cowboy, Whitechapel, Skeletonwitch, Eluveite, 1349, Impending Doom, Lecherous, Nocturne, Tony Danza, Chelsea Grin, Abacabb, Arsonists Get All The Girls, Malfice, Swashbuckle, Cattle Decapitation, Acaro, Holy Grail, Disembodied, Cruel Hand, Reign Supreme, The Mongoloids, XTyrantX, Foundation, Soul Control, Alpha Omega, Burning Empires, Mother Of Mercy, Gaza, Across The Sun and Monsters. Doors open at noon.

Tickets for Friday only cost $40.00. Tickets for Saturday only cost $46.00. A 2-day ticket costs $80.00. All tickets go on sale THIS FRIDAY FEBRUARY 12 at 10AM at all stores, online at or to charge-by-phone call (800) 477-6849.
Sponsors this year include Atticus who is sponsorsing the pre-party on Thursday April 22, Metal Blade Records sponsors the main stage, Monster Energy Drink is the official energy drink of the festival, All In Merch / 518 Prints is the official merch sponsor, R&D Express / Art Brigatta makes our festival banners and backdrops. Heavy Hitter coordinates all our radio promotions, Mazur Pr coordinates our media inquiries and Metal Injection supplies fans with all the videos and interviews on their site so you can get a preview of all the bands to perform, Jeremy Saffer from jeremysaffer.com and Aaron Peppelis from returntothepit.com provide all the official festival photos."

Now here's my take on it:




First off, no disrespect to my dear friends at Heavy Hitter, Metal Injection, Atticus, and the Rev. Aaron - y'all are champs.

Secondly - this is absolute rubbish. There are exactly 10 bands on the lineup that I give even a microscopic shit about, and out of the 10, I have seen... 9 before, multiple times, on better packages and in smaller venues. I'm going to assume that a majority of the metal-consuming public can say the same - at least the people that actually dig, you know, metal, instead of regurgitated hardcore/metalcore/deathcore bollocks. I understand that this is a metal AND hardcore fest (they give it away in the title) but, seriously, that's the best you guys could do? I've only made it up to one of the editions of this particular fest, and had a good time (thanks largely to good friends, Municipal Waste, free booze, a lovely interview with Erik Rutan and the heart-stopping awesomeness of drinking whiskey with Brian from EHG) but it's embarrassing how overwhelmingly weak the lineups have been.

Bands that rule:
Cannibal Corpse, Skeletonwitch, 1349, Amon Amarth, Lecherous Nocturne (NOT "Lecherous, Nocturne," as the press release stated, for fuck's sake), Howl.

Bands that are pretty cool:
Earth Crisis (I used to LOVE this band when I was 14, and Kurt Buechler digs black metal. No shame), Eluveitie, Cattle Decapitation

Band(s) I have not yet seen but am going to FUCK EVERYONE'S DAY UP TO:
Cro Mags, duh.

Bands that I think should quit music and go work at Radio Shack:
All the others.

Bands that will have sweet gym shorts for sale and spend the majority of their stage time trying to be Scott Vogel:
Death Before Dishonor, Reign Supreme, xTyrantx (Though I will admit, the singer's pretty hawt in a "I have prison tatts and shank bitches" kind of way)

Bands that will inspire beard-stroking, marijuana usage, and blank stares from xTyrantx fans:
Baroness, Mastodon, BTBAM

Bands I have never heard of (but still don't care about):
Foundation, Soul Control, Alpha Omega, Burning Empires, Mother Of Mercy, Across The Sun, Monsters

Band I have been meaning to check out purely because Curran told me to:
Gaza

Bands I really, REALLY fucking hate:
Rose Funeral, Whitechapel, Impending Doom, Arsonists Get All the Girls (for FUCK'S sake, did you really think that was a badass band name? FUCK), Tony Danza, Chelsea Grin, Abacabb, Job for a Cowboy (metamorphosing into a lackluster fifth-rate cover band of Morbid Angel's b-sides does not make you credible, it just makes you more annoying to death metal fans).

Amount of whiskey it would take me to make it through both days of this shitshow without getting kicked out or making some deathcore wanker cry:
Immeasurable.