I had had no idea that the term "girlfriend metal" was used anywhere outside my immediate circle of snarky, elitist Brooklyn-based friends (does this mean KSG - "Kylesa Shirt Guy" is due to become the next big target demographic?) until one of my Twitter followers @MescalineSun sent me this link:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Girlfriend-Metal/231031770246295?sk=info
Their info states, "Kylesa, later Isis and The Sword are all excellent examples of Girlfriend Metal. Inoffensive, fairly melodic metal with enough pop structure that even your girlfriend who dislikes most metal will enjoy listening in the car.
Frequently talked up in more mainstream music media such as NPR, the AV Club and Pitchfork Girlfriend Metal is an excellent placeholder for when your gash just isn't in the mood to put up with Impetuous Ritual.
And yes, Watain after Casus Luciferi is Girlfriend Metal as is Ghost. "
Torche, Boris, Isis, Mastodon, Kylesa, The Sword, Saviours, Liturgy, Pelican, Doom Riders, later Converge, Municipal Waste get nailed, too.
The discussions happening on their Facebook wall are hilarious/heinous, as one might imagine.
I'm all kinds of torn about this - on one hand, it's pretty funny, and actually (for better or for worse) a reasonably apt description. It's important to note that this page isn't necessarily referring to female metal fans - just females who are not into metal but happen to be dating metal fans. It got me thinking, though, about the realities of girlfriend metal's existence. Like I said, the concept has been floating around for awhile, at least in my slice of the world, and I've engaged in plenty of spirited discussions about it. It all stems from the classic "girls don't like metal" idea.
Yes, a lot of female metal fans tend to appreciate more melodic or accessible strains. Yes, I've sold more girl-sized shirts at Dark Castle shows than with Hooded Menace. Yes, a lot of my metal dude buddies only bring their ladyfriends to more laid-back kinds of gigs; Sleep, yes, Ash Borer, no.
On the other hand, fuck that! For decades, metal dudes have been bemoaning the lack of females in the scene, and now that the estrogen levels are rising, he-man heshers are feeling all kinds of uncomfortable about it. Now that they actually have girlfriends, they've still got to assert their dominance and superior grasp upon metaldom by saying, "Oh yeah, Jenny digs metal, but, you know - just girlfriend metal." I'm calling shenanigans. It's indisputable that there are fewer women involved in the extreme metal scene than there are men; that's how it's always been, and we've all gotten used to attending many a sausage fest in pursuit of the riff. There are still a helluva lot of us out there, though, and contrary to what a worrying number of men like to believe, we know our shit. Come take a look at my record collection and tell me girls can't hang. Have you got a first pressing of Necros Christos' 'Trivune Ipvrity Rites' LP? How about Graveland's "In the Glare of Burning Churches' on bloodred wax (limited to 666), a signed copy of Saint Vitus' 'Born Too Late,' or Drudkh's first three albums on picture disc? No? Then suck my dick.
The concept of girlfriend metal irks me both as a female metaller, and as a girlfriend. My long-sufferng love would never dream of questioning my metal cred (and knows better than to try and drag me to a Kylesa show with him) because he knows me, and also, respects me. That's the underlying issue - respect, and the giving/receiving thereof. There are still some Neanderthallic metalheads out there that honestly can't believe that they're not the only ones who dig the heavy, and when confronted with a set of knockers in a Pentagram shirt at a gig, can only react with suspicion (or clumsy come-ons). If girlfriend metal only encompasses the beardy, melodic, sub-hipster styles, then how do you explain the legions of leather'n'spiked ladies I raged alongside at Nuclear War Now! Fest in Berlin, or the front-row females for Nunslaughter and Dead Congregation at MDF? I wonder what Jo Bench from Bolt Thrower, Liz Buckingham of Electric Wizard, the ladies of Japanese grinders Flagitious Idiosyncrasy in the Dilapidation, or Anahita (the poster girl for anti-Islamic black metal [see her projects Seeds of Iblis and Janaza] and one of the bravest, truest metallers out there) would think of girlfriend metal.
It's time to grow up and move the fuck over, boys. Girls do like metal, and some of us like it even more than you do!
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13 comments:
My boyfriend is not a metal guy, but he enjoys "girlfriend metal" just fine. Could we argue that maybe it's not girlfriend metal, but "metal that people who do not regularly listen to metal enjoy nonetheless"?
"Metal that has certain qualities similar to other genres that people can pick out and enjoy whether they are metal fans or not"?
You shouldn't be torn about the term. Like you said, I believe there's a big difference between a "metal girlfriend" and just a "metal girl". A lot of metalheads try and impose their tastes on their girlfriends, and being the sweet chicks that some of these girls are, a lot of them oblige the guy just to make him happy, without really getting metal or wanting to get metal. They are sort of a little too over-willing to please, and try their hardest and just end up doing it wrong. If I would use the term "girlfriend metal", it wouldn't be an attack against females in general, just an attack on those certain kind of girlfriends. It's just an implication that your GF probably doesn't like metal, but she might probably like this because it's not as brutal. Sure it's an over general statement, but we're metalheads, and we're banger and masher types. Especially the snarky elitist ones.
Word!!! Fuck, I couldn't have put it better.
I STILL get asked at fucking brutal shows, "like this sort of music do ya?" No, dickhead, I'm here banging my head at the front of the stage to impress guys. Get fucked. I'm 31 of course I know what I like.
You're right though. Lots of the elite especially seem to think that grrls aren't on the level. I'd like to see them talk to my ladyfriends! So many have collections and metal interests that far outweigh a lot of men's.
But it's a curious thing; I know my shit, but often in the company of my male counterparts I start to think that maybe I know fuck-all. I don't class myself as a metal geek like the majority of dedicated metal fans, and I think that's where my insecurities come from.
The whole concept of GF Metal is insulting to me, I have to admit. Despite the fact that vast numbers of girls in the scene are Scene Girls and latch onto melody like it's the latest pop hit. In these people's case, it's so satisfying to see them crumble under the knowledge of a REAL female metal fan. ;)
Word!!! Fuck, I couldn't have put it better.
I STILL get asked at fucking brutal shows, "like this sort of music do ya?" No, dickhead, I'm here banging my head at the front of the stage to impress guys. Get fucked. I'm 31 of course I know what I like.
You're right though. Lots of the elite especially seem to think that grrls aren't on the level. I'd like to see them talk to my ladyfriends! So many have collections and metal interests that far outweigh a lot of men's.
But it's a curious thing; I know my shit, but often in the company of my male counterparts I start to think that maybe I know fuck-all. I don't class myself as a metal geek like the majority of dedicated metal fans, and I think that's where my insecurities come from.
The whole concept of GF Metal is insulting to me, I have to admit. Despite the fact that vast numbers of girls in the scene are Scene Girls and latch onto melody like it's the latest pop hit. In these people's case, it's so satisfying to see them crumble under the knowledge of a REAL female metal fan. ;)
Excellent excellent post! Lol..you arent joking about some men being threatened about women invading "their" world. Back in the high school days i remember having trying to talk to older metal guys about bands like Impaled Nazarene, Profanatica, Derketa etc and since they hadnt heard of it (this was early 90s) they said i was "making up bands". A few years later black metal found its way to my neck of woods and they were all coming up to me at shows and begging me to make them copies of all of my stuff and show them other bands. :D
I rather like this article.
It doesn't at all surprise me that the metal scene (as in fans, in this context) haven't caught up to the industry (the artists, labels, critics).
Beyond all the classic examples of women in metal that people like to throw around (angela glasgow, et al), I think that a real change in perspective (for me at least) happened when I stated seeing bands like Amber Asylum being described as doom metal. It wasn't really about allowing women in metal bands or acknowledging the fans as it was about admitting that the genre was confident in itself for women to create a different perspective of what metal is and how we think of it.
For me so far, SubRosa's No Help for the Mighty One has been probably my most listened to album of 2011, and probably the most interesting release of the year. I plan on doing a write up on it very soon, but just haven't gotten around to it.
I'd like to see Seeds of Iblis take on Indonesia's Tengkorak (who were sort of the Napalm Death of the country). Tengkorak somewhat suddenly and (according to an former professor of mine (and the guy who has written more about indonesian metal than anyoen...)) a rather random and unexplainable shift into anti-zionist/pro-Muslim extremists. They play under this weird banner called "Metal Satu Jari" - "One Finger Metal", not as in the middle finger salute, but as in the universally-recognized devil’s horns/ward off the evil eye sign (\m/) shorn of a horn (thereby rendering m/) said to connote monotheism and Allah instead of ol’ Beelzebub.
There are of course a number of ironies here. Almost too many to name and many almost too obvious to bother. Metal as we know it wouldn’t exist at all without non-Muslims, obviously (it kind of reminds me of white racist rock music in that respect). Moreover, most metalheads in Iran and the Arab world, where the MSJ members draw much of their ideological inspiration, not only vehemently reject Islamic orthodoxy, but listen to Israeli bands. The final irony (I’ll just stop at three) is that it is Indonesian democracy’s tolerance and openness that makes a closeminded, hate-filled movement like MSJ possible. The mullahs in a theocracy, or even, I wager, a buttoned-down repressive secular state like Malaysia, would never allow a religious organization that legitimated metal music in any fashion.
Wow, okay, this took a rather unrelated turn. I should stop here.
Anyway, I enjoy your blog.
No fucks given, I do like most of those bands.
Also, no way that the dronier/noisier shit from Boris would be girlfriend metal. I'll believe it when I can actually get a girl to listen to something from Amplifier Worship or Vein.
Also, is this really still an issue? I mean, this is like what's happening with the video game industry. It's sad.
This is a really awesome post, I've always hoped that metal would become more female/gay/black/trans friendly and this is for sure pushing it in the right direction. I'm going to promote this blog to all my metal friends right away.
Looking at most the guys on that facebook page, what a girlfriend thinks would probably be pretty irrelevant to them.
And anyway when did melody become a bad thing? Did I miss a meeting? I love plenty of brutal stuff, I also love a hell of a lot of these so called "girlfriend metal" bands cited on that page. At the end of the day my tastes are varied, I could no more listen to brutality 24/7, than I could anything else.
I am a female and I wholeheartedly agree with your article. I did lol when I skimmed through the "Girlfriend Metal" page, although I've met my fair share of both guys and girls who in fact are like this and try to namedrop bands in order to cover themselves up or "blend in". I agree with Brenocide's post in regards to "metal girlfriends" and "metal girls" - there is a difference and it definitely shows. If anything, it makes me appreciate the fellow die-hard female friends I have who are just as dedicated to music and have it as much of a big part of their lives as I do. Much respect.
Love the post. Could talk about this forever, but I'll just say anything that involves a demographic who isn't considered the 'norm' is a good thing. With that said, most of the "girlfriend metal" bands I hate and my girlfriend likes (specifically Isis, although she's taken a liking to power violence, something I deeply approve of). Go figure.
There is nothing wrong with Kylesa...
Kind regards me and my girlfriend who listen to everything from Marduk, Cryptopsy and Morbid Angel to Kylesa and other "girlfriend metal".
She had more original pressings of the most obscure metal acts than I have ever had. She has been to more shows than I will ever be, and you can mention almost any band any she will say "I have seen them X amount of times".
The ONLY band I have seen that she hasn't is Cult of Luna.
Kylesa is a good band :(
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